Prestige Alanya

Prestige Hotel: All-Inclusive Survival Challenge We stayed at the Prestige Hotel in Alanya and calling it relaxing would be generous. It felt more like an all-inclusive survival challenge where the grand prize was eventually going home. The genuine highlight was the animation team, especially Mert and the DJ. They work incredibly hard, involve everyone and create a brilliant atmosphere while the rest of the hotel appears held together with exposed screws, limescale and positive thinking. They deserve a pay rise because they are carrying the resort—which is fortunate, as the lifts certainly cannot. Our room resembled an unfinished DIY project. The key card worked one minute and rejected us the next, turning every return into “Will We Be Sleeping Indoors Tonight?” The furniture was battered. Huge screws were visible in the wall woodwork, with the wood lifting away around them. Parts of the shower head were missing and what remained was coated in limescale. Exposed screws near the shower floor showed an unfinished repair. The metal toilet flush was coming away from the wall, so every press felt like choosing between flushing and dismantling the bathroom. The TV offered Turkish channels only. The remote might turn it on, might not, or might simply ignore you. The air-conditioning looked as though it came from the 1930s, and the beds were about as soft as bedrock. You woke feeling as though you had lost a fight with a pavement. The food looked plentiful, but much of it was bland, dry and unfamiliar with seasoning. The plates were about the size of contact lenses, turning dinner into a relay race between table and buffet. The cocktails were supposedly the same each night, although receiving the same drink twice was nearly impossible. One bartender made it properly; half an hour later someone else produced fruit juice, cleaning fluid and regret. The plastic cups held roughly three mouthfuls, so after endless trips to the bar you might finally consume one normal drink. Yay—all-inclusive cardio. The pool was far too small for around 1,200 guests and resembled a tin of sardines with chlorine. Adults and children dived and performed water bombs into the crowd as though competing to land closest to somebody’s head. The poolside was a life-or-death slip-and-slide. People came down the slides standing up, while supervision seemed less concerned about the human missile than somebody standing five feet from the exit. The children’s slides were switched on every few hours for about 20 minutes; by the time children joined the queue, they were off again. Less water park, more product demonstration. The lifts claimed to carry six people, but four felt reckless. Even with two, they could stop and reconsider their career. On our first night, we became trapped when the lights went out and the controls stopped working. Nothing says “welcome to paradise” like standing in a dark metal box wondering whether emergency extraction is included. The beach looked like the builders swept up leftover rubble and tipped it beside the sea. Beach shoes are essential unless your feet are reinforced with concrete. Shopping was another endurance event. The hotel’s “free” city-centre ride took us to a shop whose owner appeared to have an arrangement with the hotel and pushed us to buy there. Around town, sellers tried to pull us inside, followed us with no sense of personal space and, when they lacked the correct size, some became insulting about weight. Bargaining over a T-shirt felt like negotiating a hostage release. Would we return? Hell no. The rooms need rebuilding, the food needs seasoning, the drinks need actual cups, the pool needs safety rules, the lifts need an exorcism, and the beach needs fewer construction leftovers. However, Mert, the DJ and the full animation team were fantastic. They were the only part of the hotel worthy of the word “Prestige” and somehow kept everyone smiling while the building tried its best to fall apart around them.

Perfect view .foods are delicious.all staff very warm and friendly.sea and location perfect.🧿💛♥️